Gym, Tan, Laundry

In 3 simple words, this is what separates Pauly D and the Situation from the rest of the cast to this point. We are closing in on Atlantic City, which should provide ample opportunity for Ronnie's continued emergence and Snookie's quest to find her next "Russ." However, we have reached an interesting juncture in our journey. Perhaps Sammi Sweetheart summarized it best following last week's late-night porch skirmish, when she denounced the Grenade Launcher with that deepest of insults: "You don't even look Italian!" Now that's harsh. And indeed, quite correct. In Seaside Heights, there is absolutely no personality substitute for looking the part. In fact, the entire point is looking the part and owning the shit out of it, as the Grenade Launcher and her uppity crew perhaps finally learned.

Yet there is a substantial portion of the house that seems quite comfortable letting the Guido guard down at numerous junctures in the program. Sammi mopes around the house in her community college gear, J-Woww will slap on a pair of sweats and attempt to resemble something that did not emerge from the deepest recesses of a roadside peepshow, and then there's Vinny. Oh, Vinny. While his family life indicates that he may actually be the house's truest Italian, he lies at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to Sammi Sweetheart's definition of the term. Deriding "Gym, Tan, Laundry" sealed Vinny's fate. This loser gets dominated in the gym, appears as if he has never once seen the sun all summer, and possesses but one tired and feeble dance move. It's a tremendous miracle that he was even able to makeout with Danny's washed-up dinner date. Which brings us back to The Situation and Pauly D. Neither of these 2 specimens has ever appeared on screen with a hair out of place, a bicep uncontracted, or hearts in the wrong place. They are in that house for the right reasons, and Gym, Tan, Laundry is the perfect reflection of that philosophy. The fact that immediately following the most "real" moment of the season, The Situation continued the relentless pursuit of his lifestyle is a testament to his deep understanding of who he is. He and Pauly D share a code, they share a system, and they share a commitment to being everything Sammi desired when she shouted those words and everything the Grenade Launcher wasn't. Let's allow The Situation take it from here: "if everything's put together, and you feel great, you look great...awesome night." Amen, brother.