Alright, We’ve Got a Situation

Since this fine program debuted a week ago, one question has plagued me above all others. What exactly is “the Situation?” We have several viable options, all of which seem to make sense in different contexts. However, just like Rowdy Roddy Piper tells us, as soon as we think we have the answers, Mike “the Situation” Sorrentino changes all the questions. His genius lies in his ability to constantly and suddenly shift our perceptions of what the Situation actually is, and we are left only to ponder about the true nature of this elusive beast.

Is it his abs? In the opening segment, he tells us that “my abs are so ripped up it’s called the Situation,” certainly a strong piece of evidence. However, as he is wont to do, the Situation seems to contradict himself later when before their first dinner he says that “the Situation sits at the head of the house.” Surely, he could not have been anthropomorphizing his abdominal muscles by referring to them as the de facto head of the family? No, I think we would be giving him a little too much credit when he has clearly demonstrated his lack of mastery over the English language (he seems to think that “broads” is a synonym for both “women” and “roommates”).

The final twist comes later in the show, when the group goes out clubbing. Mr. Sorrentino looks directly into the camera and says with a light-hearted but nevertheless threatening menace, “If you don’t love the Situation, I’m going to make you love the Situation.” Here it seems he could be referring to himself again, but we must also consider that he is going to a club in a (likely futile) attempt to get laid. I would offer, then, that he is referring to the uncomfortable sexual situation some hapless young co-ed is likely to find herself in when he approaches her on the dance floor.

Whether any true resolution to this question exists, only time will tell. All I can say is, I’m looking forward to seeing what new and creative applications of his self-appointed moniker he comes up with this week.